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You don't have to love Golf to Love these!
1. Winston Churchill: "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a
cow pasture."
2. Jack Benny: "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a
nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of
golf."
3. Lee Trevino: "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask
my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands
work."
4. Unknown: "Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously
devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins."
5. Hank Aaron: "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in
baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
6. Lee Trevino: "Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't
a lot of strokes when you consider the course."
7. Lee Trevino: "I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew
tomatoes, they’d come up sliced."
8. Sam Snead: "These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter
over the ball and hit it with the shadow."
9. Paul Harvey: "Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six,
and write down five."
10. Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players: "They throw
their clubs backwards and sideways, and that's wrong. You should
always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any
extra distance to get it."
11. Tommy Bolt: "Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four
opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty
feet."
12. Jimmy Demaret: "Golf and sex are about the only things you can
enjoy without being good at."
13. Jack Lemmon: "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try
picking up the wrong golf ball."
14. Lee Trevino: "If you're caught on a golf course during a storm
and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a
1-iron."
15. Unknown: "Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man
across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA
Tour."
16. John Updike: "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent
inability to count past five."
17. "Silk Stockings" TV Show: "The people who gave us golf and
called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called
it music."
18. Gerald Ford: "I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope
that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk
and a moose."
19. P.G. Wodehouse: "The least thing upsets him on the links. He
missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the
adjoining meadows."
20. Bob Hope: "If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get
inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him."
21. Ken Harrelson: "In baseball you hit your home run over the
right-field fence,the left-field fence, the center-field fence.
Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second
base."
22. Chi Chi Rodriguez: "The first time I played the Masters, I was
so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the
happiest 83 of my life."
23. Chi Chi Rodriguez: "After all these years, it's still
embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time
I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later
with a ham on rye."
24. Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume,
temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club
recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards.
His caddie said: "I'd say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir." "A 3-
iron or a wedge?" asked Bolt. “What kind of stupid, #*!~%^* choice is
that?"
"Those are the only two clubs you have left in your bag, sir." said
the caddie.
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